TOPOLABAMBA Review - "Bastion of Burrito Brilliance" - Glasgow's Best Burrito

You can stop rubbing your eyes in disbelief: this really is the second burrito review in a week. My quest for Glasgow’s best burrito has gathered blistering pace, and after much searching, I have found a fourth foe with which to do battle – Topolabamba, on St Vincent Street. A stalwart of the Glasgow food scene since its inception 4 years ago, Topolabamba has established itself as a bastion of burrito brilliance, serving up “authentic Mexican street food” in a “casual but not too casual atmosphere”.  Its success on the west coast has allowed two further branches to be opened, one in our fair capital, and the other in Aberdeen. A now nationally recognised symbol of great Mexican food, Topolabamba is the perfect place to forage further for Glasgow’s best burrito. Vamos!

Presentation

The exterior of Topolabamba has somewhat become a part of Glaswegian lore: the purposeful flicker of the ‘bam’ portion of the signage encourages passers-by – or is it actually broken? – to have a second glance at the exquisite and striking window display. As you approach, there are several decorations for your eyes to feast on: exclusive brands of tequila adorning the windows, several remarkably good value advertisements, and two authentic and rustic looking “tacos” signs. It is clear no expense has been spared on exterior design. As you enter the always gleaming glass front doors, you are transported into Mexico. A truly majestic restaurant, with more exposed wood than you can imagine in your wildest Mexican stereotype-based dreams, and cacti of all shapes and sizes dispersed in all directions - the very logo of the restaurant is a cactus. Need I say more. There is even a Mexican themed decorative fish atop the bar. Seating arrangements are split over a lower and upper level, with an eloquent mixture of booths and table arrangements creating a navigable and efficient layout for both servers and customers.

Preparation

In a similar situation to that of Las Iguanas in the sense that this is a sit down restaurant experience, the preparation process is again fairly elusive. However, the chefs in this instance were incredibly welcoming and eager to showcase their aptitude and mastery of the burrito crafting process, and we were invited to have a closer look. My architect, Darek - somewhat of a virtuoso in the field - expertly laid out the flesh of the burrito over the soft, delicate tortilla. Heaps of succulent chicken, a bed of Mexican rice and beans, and a careful path of salsa and cheese. This was already a spectacle to rival the Sistine Chapel. The wrapping process was completed with flair and prowess, and I was ready to devour it. But the fun wasn’t over yet. The mouth-watering cocoon of Mexican comfort food was placed onto a hot press and toasted BRIEFLY – Las Iguanas take note – until being cut in half and served up on a tasteful plate with a side of salsa verde.

The Burrito

I almost didn’t want to eat it. It was magnificent. The exterior crusted to perfection by the hot press, and the distribution of the innards appeared equal to a scientific degree. However, in the interest of progressing my study I soldiered on. I raised the burrito to my lips for the first bite. A plethora of flavours and emotions erupted onto my taste buds. The tortilla has been transcended into a warm, soft-yet-crispy state of utopia: I refuse to believe anything on earth could achieve a superior texture. Furthermore, the cheese had melted and fused the rest of the ingredients together into a stable, rigid structure, which stayed so throughout the entirety of the eating phase. Bite after bite I was impressed more and more, each ingredient worked in perfect harmony with the next to create a quite frankly perfect burrito eating experience. The salsa provided on the side added an excellent kick, and rounded it all off exquisitely. Every ingredient tasted incredibly fresh and flavoursome, and for once were not let down by poor burrito craftsmanship. Cutlery is not required – it’s there on the table as a token gesture – but the standard of build quality ensures that extra assistance is not necessary. Spillage was minimal, near negligible – regardless, it would have been promptly vacuumed from the plate and down the hatch with the rest.

Conclusion

Remember the 2011-12 season, when Sergio Aguero scored that goal against QPR to snatch the title from Manchester United in the final minute of the final game of the season, and Martin Tyler screamed: “I swear you’ll never see anything like this ever again”? This is the only apt scenario I can think of that accurately describes they way I feel about this particular burrito, mi hermanos. It was unbelievable. Breath-taking. Exquisite. Perhaps even worthy of the crown of being Glasgow's best burrito. A perfectly crusted wheat-based cylinder of fresh, Mexican flavour. Bravo, Topolabamba, bravo. I might even go back for seconds

The Burrito Bandito

(Disclaimer: Topolabamba may be the place of work of the Burrito Bandito)